Did you notice....?

That a sunset is always more beautiful, when you
have someone special to share it with?

That the sound of waves breaking against the
beach, is possibly the most therapeutic sound
you'll ever hear?

That the simple act of holding hands, is quite
often, the easiest, and hardest thing you could
ever do?

That nobody complains as it rains, when it's time
to sleep?

That sometimes, it's better to hear 'I miss you',
or 'I think of you', more than 'I love you'?

That nobody plays bass, but everyone else plays
guitar?

That trust is only an issue when you notice you
don't have it?

That a hug can be as wonderful as the best kiss
you have ever had?

That you never have enough time, or that you have
too much time to burn?

That you will always feel a person more than you
could ever touch them?

That the dew is always gone by the time you wake up?

That stars twinkle sometimes, because you're
imagining it?

That moments, will last, as long as you want them to.

Breakdown of the soul.

Life is a dance. It is the end of year school prom. It is the first waltz at a wedding reception. It is the first tenatative steps of a hopeful ourtship. Footballers dance past defenders. Tennis players dance across courts. Daredevils dance between life and death. Everyone dances. Everyone has a partner. But now...

Now, I dance alone.

It started out great. Don't they always? The talks. The kindness. The love. There is a wonderous elegance afoot when the heart makes its choice. When mind and soul are in rare collusion. Harmony. Compromise was always easy to reach. Forgiveness was always there to be found. Happiness was but a phone call away. What else could it have been, other than pure joy?

Other than love?

They rarely, if ever, end that way. I have never been fortuntate. They never stay as friends. They fade away. They disappear. As do you. Loneliness. Anger. Bitterness. A slow, mad descent into hate. Obstacles appear where there once open fields. Unlocked doors are sealed shut. INtimacy gives way to distance. Aloofness. Arrogance.

A stubborn, mind-numbing refusal to be open minded. To admit.. to being wrong.


How could we have survived? How could we have stayed together when we were both participants, in what was pulling us apart? Happy times grew few and far between. The arguments were getting frequent. Nasty. Heart-breaking. More and more, tears were my bedfellows, sadness my only companion as I navigated sleepless nights and lightless days.

I know now, as I should have known then, that it should have stopped. It should have ended. But I soldiered on, enamoured in my belief in love, strengthened by my faith in humanity. Yet it all came to nought. The pure disdain that became a greeting wounded my soul deeper than any mere physical harm. The contempt for emotion tore me into pieces.

What more could be done? I finally let go, worser for the wear, Scarred. Forever marked. An emotional burden I shall carry for as long as I am unable to deal with it.

Memories are bittersweet. The sorrowful eloqunce of their subtlety would be lost on closed hearts and hardened souls. It is hard to live like this. Each day is a struggle, the vagaries of life presenting alternating degrees of insurmountability. When will it all end? When will the simple pleasure of enjoying the sun's rays and the shine of the moon, become more than excercises in conquering the demons of the past? Demons, that threaten to haunt my future?

Life is a dance.

And I have forgotten the steps.